The Glossed Over Blog

Have you ever looked around the room and thought, “I do not belong here. Everyone’s going to realize how out of place I am’?” Yeah… me too. All the time. Psychology Today defines Imposter Syndrome as an individual’s belief “that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held.” Well, as a fellow education major, I can tell you that I resonate with this more than I care to admit. 

Every other education major I know is always on top of our assignments, training we have to complete, other tasks we have to get done because the education departments want us to have no time on our hands. Just kidding but no, really. I don’t understand how they keep track of all of it. Everyone seems to know what the others are talking about and I just sit there silently confused. I swear, I could bet my right arm that I am the only one who is stressed out of my mind and I know they can see it too. I’d probably lose my right arm though.

I realized this feeling was holding me back. I isolate myself from peers in my major, I am anxious when I have to teach in front of other people my age. I feel at any moment, they’re going to start saying, “What is she even doing in the department?” So, I thought I should do some research and attempt to shift my thinking. 

Here’s are three tips that seemed to be quite common across all the sites I read:

Acknowledge the facts, Redirect the feelings

Psychology Today states, “Imposters feel like they don’t belong, so acknowledging their expertise and accomplishments is key.” So when I hear the voice telling me that at any moment, everyone’s going to know what a fraud I am, I’ll try to attempt a redirect. I need to remind myself that I have lots of experience with kids and they tend to like me so I must be doing something right.

Talk about it

I know, I know – talking about feelings is hard. And no imposter syndrome is going to be cured by me telling everyone I feel this way, however, I believe it would help. I keep thinking, “I am the only one who feels like this.” but I know realistically, it’s just not true. Maybe talking about it will help me find others who can relate. Maybe then, it wouldn’t feel so isolating.

Let go of perfectionism

Imposter syndrome tends to be more common in high achievers but I like to call myself a “do-er”. I like to get things done, I like to be in charge, and I like to feel reliable. In theory, I know I can’t do everything and I certainly can’t do it all with ease and grace – but that’s never stopped me from trying! It seems that when I try to do everything all at once, in ways I believe others want me to do, it all ends up being REAL far from perfect. On the other hand, when I do things the way I know I can do them, it’s my best work. I’m not going to do anything perfectly, but it doesn’t mean I’m not doing them well. That’s what I need to remember.

In my research journey, I stumbled upon Valerie Young. She is a global thought leader on imposter syndrome and co-founder of the imposter syndrome institution. She has a TED Talk titled “Thinking Your Way Out of Imposter Syndrome” and I highly recommend watching it if you can relate to this post at all. But to summarize it, she explained that you are always going to feel like an imposter if you don’t stop thinking like an imposter. Those who do not deal with imposter syndrome acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses, don’t discredit their qualifications, and are able to deal with lack of perfection. She emphasized the importance of reframing your thoughts. Fake it ‘til you make it, if you will. So next time I fear making a fool of myself when I have to teach and I have peers watching me, I’ll try to say, “This is exciting. They get to see what I can do.” Will I believe it? Maybe not. Maybe not at first, but hopefully it comes with time.

I know it’s common and I know I am not as much of a mess as I think I am. And I know that though that may be true, I certainly could be tidier. I’ve got to be real with myself about the good and the bad because imposter syndrome isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. I’ll most likely keep sitting in class confused and feeling out of place but just because I feel out of place doesn’t necessarily mean that I am. Belonging doesn’t mean having it all figured out, it might just be about showing up. So, I’ll keep doing that and then some.

Peace & Love,

Krys K