The Glossed Over Blog

Quick lore drop, one of your favorite girls just got out of an almost two year relationship – and it was not Hattie. It has been a difficult process, to be quite honest. Now, if you think I’m about to spit some break up tips at you, you are terribly mistaken. I am in no way qualified to tell you how to deal with a break up because I am simply winging it. However, one thing about any break up is that you’re going to feel lonely. It is an inevitable feeling when you have to say goodbye to something you held very dear to you. The hardest part of this healing journey is that I simply do not know how to be alone anymore. I can’t find the joy in spending time with myself – and I used to love some “me time”. 

So let’s start from the beginning. Right after my breakup, I would sit in my living room just waiting for my roommates to come downstairs so I could talk to them about anything. I needed constant company, so much so that I’d even resort to calling my sisters and asking about their day. But I have been growing tired of depending on other people to make me feel better. It is necessary that we push ourselves to be uncomfortable in order to grow. – Now, how on earth do I do that?

Productive Alone Time

Many people, including myself, can habitually isolate ourselves without even knowing it. Sometimes, alone time allows us to trap ourselves in our minds. This is why your alone time needs to be productive. When I am alone, I try to keep myself busy which helps prevent my thoughts from racing to the extremes. There are many things you can do with your time – many tips you can find right here on Glossed Over. Crafting, reading, or cleaning are all ways you can be productive and by yourself. Luckily for me, my college has J-Term so I started classes earlier than most people. Being able to distract myself in my schoolwork has also been helpful for my mental health and my grades.

Just remember, productive doesn’t mean busy. It just means intentional.

Organize Social Time

Like I said, I allowed myself to be very dependent on my friends which of course, you should be but too much of anything can hurt you. One thing I have been practicing is planning to hangout with people ahead of time. This way, it pushes me to be on my own and not allow my time to be consumed with other people. Girl nights have always been so special to me, ever since I was in high school. Recently, I have made dinner for my friends, enjoyed wine nights, and danced for fun with them.

Being alone doesn’t mean cutting people off, just limiting how much one can lean on them.

Prioritize Self Care

Now, I am not the best at practicing self care but one thing I typically am on top of is my skin care – except for when that breakup was fresh. I was going to sleep with my makeup on, some mornings, I wouldn’t even wash my face if I slept in so late. Thankfully, I made it a new years resolution to not go to bed with makeup on and I have been doing very well in this department, my skin is grateful for it. The time I put aside at night to do my skincare is a very calming part of my day, a visual unwind. 

A routine is also very important for your mental health. I’ve never been a morning routine person mostly because I would much rather stay asleep but I’ve always had a nighttime routine.  I enjoy listening to music and shutting everything else out for the last ten-fifteen minutes of my day.

Relearn Yourself

OMG cheeseball title, but yes, it is of the utmost importance that you take the time to understand yourself. Journaling has played such an immense role in this chapter of my life. However you want to challenge yourself and your understanding, I don’t mind, so long as you do it. Ask yourself why having time alone feels daunting, when you feel the most alone, when you feel the least alone? Ask yourself questions that you may not even want to answer. 

When you understand the “why”, figuring out the “how” is that much easier.

Being alone doesn’t have to mean being empty. It can mean space. Space to sit with my thoughts, to understand my emotions, and to reconnect with parts of myself I may have neglected. This chapter isn’t about perfection or having all the answers; it’s about giving myself grace while I learn. And if you’re in a similar place, just know you’re not behind, you’re only just becoming.

Peace & Love,

Krys K