The Glossed Over Blog

This year, I watched The Truman Show for the first time. I always knew it to be a classic older movie and always heard it being referenced whenever Gen Z joked about being in a simulation. Like most people, I absolutely loved it.

If you have never seen it, The Truman Show follows Truman Burbank, a man who is discovering  his entire life is a carefully constructed television show. Every person in Truman’s world knows that this is a TV show, except for Truman. Millions of people around the world tune in every day to watch him live his life.

People adore Truman. We root for him and so does the audience that watches him within the movie. Us, as viewers, want him to escape. It is a joyous feeling once he finally walks out of the set and steps into the real world.

But while I was watching, I found myself wondering: Would we love Truman as much if Truman were a woman?

And honestly, I don’t think we would. The concept simply wouldn’t pass if Truman were written as a woman because many of the behaviors that encourage us to love Truman, everything that makes him the protagonist, are behaviors that any woman would be absolutely picked apart for.

Maybe I am just being the woker, but this idea was worth exploring and writing about to me.

His Charm

Part of what makes Truman so easy to root for is that he is a little weird.

He’s got far more personality than everyone else around him. He has strange habits and quirky moments that remind us he is the only true human and individual in his world.

The world loves an energetic and eccentric man and categorizes them as authentic. However, that natural understanding is not given to women.

The real world example that comes to my mind is Millie Bobbie Brown and Finn Wolfhard.

The two childstars had to go through the painfully awkward teen years in the public eye. The catch is, Finn’s quirkyness is deemed humorous and part of his charm whereas Millie’s quirks gave people a reason to absolutely pick her apart. She was the only girl in the Stranger Things cast at the beginning of its fame. She was labeled “annoying” and “attention seeking” all the while, she was truly just a child becoming herself.

Now of course, these aren’t anywhere near identical situations but there is a pattern here. The media is willing to tolerate eccentricity in men but immediately find it irritating in women. 

The “Bad Wife”

Another thing that stood out to me while watching the movie is that Truman is technically married.

Yet throughout the film, he is fixated on Sylvia, a woman he met years ago and never stopped thinking about.

And the viewers in the movie completely understand why. They excuse his lust over another woman. Of course, us as viewers of the movie also understand why. The introduction of Sylvia only allows more opportunity for us to empathize with Truman.

The audience, both in and out of the movie, know his marriage is built on lies. Sylvia represents the truth and a life that actually belongs to him – a life he can choose.

So we forgive him and excuse the secret he deliberately keeps from his wife.

Now, would audiences would extend the same grace to a female Truman?

Would she be viewed as a victim of manipulation in search of something real? Or would she be labeled emotionally unfaithful?

The real world comparison I am going to give you is quite the controversial one, but a similar conversation happened when news broke about Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater’s relationship.

The majority of the public discussion seemed focused on Ariana as the “homewrecker” while Ethan, the married person in the relationship, received significantly less attention. Again, every celebrity situation is unique and I am not pretending these circumstances are identical.

But it is interesting that in media, women quickly become the face of a moral scandal — more so than a man has ever.

The Ungrateful Woman

At the end of The Truman Show, Truman leaves.

He abandons the life that has been built around him and the people he knows. He rejects the world that raised him. Though, we cheer because we understand that staying would mean continuing to live a lie.

But if Truman were a woman, I suspect some people would interpret that choice differently.

She might be accused of being ungrateful. She might be criticized for hurting the people who cared about her. She might be told that she should appreciate everything that had been given to her.

The exact same decision could suddenly become selfish instead of courageous.

And maybe that sounds ridiculous at first, but too often, women are expected to make themselves smaller for the comfort of everyone around them. Women are encouraged to prioritize others and keep the peace.

If a woman is the one walking away from a life chosen for her, would it still be heroric and admirable?

Why Does This Happen?

I don’t think most people consciously sit down and decide they are going to judge women more harshly. In fact, I think a lot of people actively try not to. The issue is that sexism rarely announces itself.

Most of the time, these internal biases show up without realizing. It can be seen in the language we use and the assumptions we catch ourselves making.

It can be seen in the stories we tell ourselves and what narrative we put people in. Whether we declare someone to be likable, difficult, selfish, or worthy of forgiveness.

Bias is not always loud. Sometimes it is so casual that we don’t notice it at all. That is what makes it difficult to challenge.

So What Can We Do?

I don’t think the solution is to stop enjoying movies or stop having opinions about celebrities. What we can do is challenge ourselves to get comfortable asking questions that debate our own opinions.

Would I react the same way if this person were a different gender? Am I judging the behavior itself or the person doing it? Have I accepted a media narrative without questioning who benefits from it?

None of us are immune to bias but recognizing that bias exists is a good place to start.

Maybe Truman could have been a woman and the story would have been just as powerful.

The question is whether we would have allowed her to be the hero.

Over & Out,

Krys K